28 Dec The Artist of the New World by Matt Licata
Something happens and you get triggered. Someone says something or ignores you, or doesn’t show up in the way you want and need. You quickly become convinced that no one will ever see you as you are, and that there must be something wrong with you.
In these moments, you are totally hooked. Your emotional world is on fire and you’re falling apart. You are shaming, blaming, and raging in all directions. The old voices remind you of how wretched you are. The energy is hot and surging through your heart. There is a panicky nauseous feeling in your stomach. Your throat is starting to constrict. You are about to collapse.
But wait. Slow way down. Breathe deeply from your lower belly. Touch the earth. Feel your heart beating. Return to your body and the aliveness of the here and now. See if it really is as urgent as it seems, that you need to disembody and find relief. Or are you being asked to turn into the chaos, and meet it with loving presence.
No matter what is happening in the inner and outer landscape, you can start right now – you can lay down a new pathway. Slowly, over time, you can replace the aggression with kindness. You can replace the abandonment with holding. You can replace the rejection with curiosity and fiery compassion. You can develop a new relationship with your feelings, and with the beliefs which have become the lenses through which you have come to see your life.
While the old narratives and emotional strategies emerged as the best ways you knew to care for yourself – and to somehow make sense of a misattuned holding environment – you are the artist of a new world. Your canvas is the landscape of your shaky vulnerability, the tenderness of your heart, and the majesty of your creative psyche.
You can rewrite the story, rewire your nervous system, and find new meaning, slowly and each moment. It may not always feel safe and certain – and at times you will be asked to practice intimacy with shame, rage, grief, and heartbreak. But as you provide sanctuary for the visitors, and flood them with warmth, with space, and with kindness, new pathways and networks will unfold and illuminate your being.
Call on the seen and unseen worlds to assist you. Open to the holding and the wisdom of the mountains, the oceans, and the stars. It is already written inside you.